The Feeling Fulfilled

The physical representation of blood escaping from my being
Lends volumes to the words that I can't speak

Consider the tongue, seared at the root
Match it to the way my lip quivers when I'm too full of fear
To utter a word against you.

All I ever wanted was for you to love me,
Not understanding why I would want to be held in the arms
Of someone responsible for beating me to ashes

Consider me ashes because every fire you extinguished it,
And every flower met your feet
Every dream, you turned nightmare
And warm feeling, winter cold.

I may be growing but the fact is I'm still trapped inside this cage
Afraid to dream at night for fear of seeing your evil face,
To call you a devil would be an insult to the name
You were ripped from the 8th layer and laid on earth to produce pain

I figured these bruises would settle whatever debt I owed you,
But you weren't satisfied with flesh, you had to inflict my mind too.
A demon, monster, coward, bastard, you go by many names.
I have cringed in corners waiting for the trauma to fade me away.

...And Then My Body Became A Stage

And I'm a mess and I'm a wreck,
But that would be an understatement at this point,
I came in like a lion but I'm leaving a lamb
Deteriorating failure
Like the loser I am.

I'll keep you all on the outside
Not inside of my brain
So you won't hear the frequencies
Of the things that it's saying
You're a mess you're a wreck
A failure of all things
You may have arrived as a lion
But you're leaving a cage

I will sleep on the dirtiest of hospital floors,
Just looking for a grave.
If I can't stop all your tears
What good am I?
Why do I belong here?
My spirit may be light
But heavy is this heart
I'll shut myself from light
So I can cry in the dark.