Well tell the wolves and their kings to stop howling
I'm just trying to get some sleep on this most solemn of nights
Laying down my armor at the foot of my bed
I never wear want to be the killer again.
No, I never want to see that side of things.
Forty long years.
Dragging my sword through the mud and muck
Forty long years
Just trying to keep myself clean from the blood
And I'll be damned if I'll be a warrior again the next time they beckon.
Because I've had my fair share of close calls and I think it's time to close the book.
Tomorrow I will burn these things, and you'll never see me kill again.
I'm done
Forty long years
Dragging their bodies through the dirt and dust
Forty long years
I'll be lucky just to see the kids of my kids.
Soldier,
No longer.
Have the old me thrown to the dogs to devour whole before he rises from slumber
Warrior,
No more.
I fought your wars for forty years and now I am through.
I Don't Wanna Stop...
Everyone knows Dylan Thomas,
And everyone watched the Dangerous Minds
And we all know that he said "Rage, against the dying of the light"
Maybe my light's dying,
The me I used to be is becoming a little bit dimmer,
So I've got to learn to rage against the dying of myself
To beat against the walls of this concrete hell and yell
"I am not a prisoner or a victim!"
Because if anyone's to blame for why I feel insane, I am.
And if I could ever set foot on the doorstep of the grandfather that took my childhood
I would just to throw hate into his face, and that would just feed the ugliness of his soul.
So I'll rage against the dying of myself, throw my hands up to the clouds and exclaim
"I am a free spirit, and I dare you to fuck with me!"
Because I spent years in a jail cell of my own making
On a floor caked with blood and skin of my own taking.
All I want to do is spill ink onto page and make it turn into a poem
Spill paint onto canvas and call it a masterpiece,
I want to be so much more than I allow myself to be.
I want to be a crutch and a healer to those who love me.
I want to...
So I rage against the dying of myself, because I am a light that won't ever extinguish
Even when I'm gone you'll all remember me.
Because I want to leave an impact that would make oceans turn red
A footprint in the sad that would make god himself blush.
I want to be more than mankind...
So I'll rage against the dying
of myself...
And everyone watched the Dangerous Minds
And we all know that he said "Rage, against the dying of the light"
Maybe my light's dying,
The me I used to be is becoming a little bit dimmer,
So I've got to learn to rage against the dying of myself
To beat against the walls of this concrete hell and yell
"I am not a prisoner or a victim!"
Because if anyone's to blame for why I feel insane, I am.
And if I could ever set foot on the doorstep of the grandfather that took my childhood
I would just to throw hate into his face, and that would just feed the ugliness of his soul.
So I'll rage against the dying of myself, throw my hands up to the clouds and exclaim
"I am a free spirit, and I dare you to fuck with me!"
Because I spent years in a jail cell of my own making
On a floor caked with blood and skin of my own taking.
All I want to do is spill ink onto page and make it turn into a poem
Spill paint onto canvas and call it a masterpiece,
I want to be so much more than I allow myself to be.
I want to be a crutch and a healer to those who love me.
I want to...
So I rage against the dying of myself, because I am a light that won't ever extinguish
Even when I'm gone you'll all remember me.
Because I want to leave an impact that would make oceans turn red
A footprint in the sad that would make god himself blush.
I want to be more than mankind...
So I'll rage against the dying
of myself...
When The Marauder's Wife Sings Back To Me
Oh sweet stranger, how I have lied to you
Fooled you with my beauty, but surely you knew
That I'm just a collector of hearts and now,
Yours will placed on my shelf
You'll find me a false skeleton of the princess you're seeking
The skin a pigmented glimpse of the touch that you yearn for.
My truth would scar the sun and I'm not in the business of being in love with you.
I'm just the flicker of the eyelash that graces your cheek when the butterflies kiss you to sleep.
I never said I was a saint, you just saw me that way.
I played innocent while you played the fool,
Now look what I've done to you.
Oh sweet stranger, how I've lied to you.
I'm merely a ghost that will vanish as soon as you open your eyes.
--------------------------------
No beautiful, I don't believe, there's no way that this can be true.
I've sung you my songs til I'm blue in the face, and now tell me what shall I do.
Shall I sail the seas just looking for another girl of your poise & beauty.
No, no, I shall keep trying.
I won't give up until you love me.
I'm not like the others who you have laid with on your bed.
I much more than a mere man who has visions of you in his head.
I can kiss your lips, and I can make you feel.
You're not a ghost, you're my angel
Why can't you believe this is real.
-----------------------------------------
Wake up from slumber you pitiful fool.
I'm no longer here to amuse you,
I've had my fun, and I'll slip away.
I have no other use for you.
---------------------------------------
How could you do this to me.
All the things that I've sacrificed
---------------------------------------
I didn't ask you to love me,
I just wanted your love that night.
--------------------------------------
Oh, what shall they say when I tell them my story.
How I and the marauder's wife had a love that they could not touch.
And of how she tore my heart away, and ground into the dust.
Her kiss, her gentle hands so beautiful when they hugged me.
But now I shall sit here and cry, over you my lovely.
---------------------------------------
Don't you waste your tears on my me, I'm not worth the effort.
--------------------------------------
You don't know me, and you never will.
I swam the oceans and braved the storms to sing my songs at your will.
-------------------------------------
I never asked you to sing to me.
I've enjoyed you long enough, now it's time for me to set you free.
-------------------------------------
I can not turn back now, she's all but closed the door.
Will I ever get over this pain that fills me?
Will I ever want to love again.
Perhaps I feel too anxiously.
Should I ever fall again?
Fooled you with my beauty, but surely you knew
That I'm just a collector of hearts and now,
Yours will placed on my shelf
You'll find me a false skeleton of the princess you're seeking
The skin a pigmented glimpse of the touch that you yearn for.
My truth would scar the sun and I'm not in the business of being in love with you.
I'm just the flicker of the eyelash that graces your cheek when the butterflies kiss you to sleep.
I never said I was a saint, you just saw me that way.
I played innocent while you played the fool,
Now look what I've done to you.
Oh sweet stranger, how I've lied to you.
I'm merely a ghost that will vanish as soon as you open your eyes.
--------------------------------
No beautiful, I don't believe, there's no way that this can be true.
I've sung you my songs til I'm blue in the face, and now tell me what shall I do.
Shall I sail the seas just looking for another girl of your poise & beauty.
No, no, I shall keep trying.
I won't give up until you love me.
I'm not like the others who you have laid with on your bed.
I much more than a mere man who has visions of you in his head.
I can kiss your lips, and I can make you feel.
You're not a ghost, you're my angel
Why can't you believe this is real.
-----------------------------------------
Wake up from slumber you pitiful fool.
I'm no longer here to amuse you,
I've had my fun, and I'll slip away.
I have no other use for you.
---------------------------------------
How could you do this to me.
All the things that I've sacrificed
---------------------------------------
I didn't ask you to love me,
I just wanted your love that night.
--------------------------------------
Oh, what shall they say when I tell them my story.
How I and the marauder's wife had a love that they could not touch.
And of how she tore my heart away, and ground into the dust.
Her kiss, her gentle hands so beautiful when they hugged me.
But now I shall sit here and cry, over you my lovely.
---------------------------------------
Don't you waste your tears on my me, I'm not worth the effort.
--------------------------------------
You don't know me, and you never will.
I swam the oceans and braved the storms to sing my songs at your will.
-------------------------------------
I never asked you to sing to me.
I've enjoyed you long enough, now it's time for me to set you free.
-------------------------------------
I can not turn back now, she's all but closed the door.
Will I ever get over this pain that fills me?
Will I ever want to love again.
Perhaps I feel too anxiously.
Should I ever fall again?
Filling A Book With The Things I Don't Know...
Can I...
No wait a second
Erase that from your memory
Maybe the better question is
Will I?
Will I ever be the person that envisioned I could be.
Is that person inside of me and will they ever be let out?
Did you know that speed of light is...
Me neither.
Because I could fill a book with the things that I don't know.
Hell, I could probably make it an encyclopedia.
Because I haven't gone
From Rome to whatever I would be if I went around the world and ended right next to Rome.
See, because I have NO idea what city is next to Rome.
So surely I can't say I've lived, but I can say that I have LIVED.
Because I've done plenty of things, and I've been beat against walls
And I've been thrown across the room, and I've felt the kiss of a lover.
And I've been down, and I've been happy.
And there's no way, I'd ever give it back.
In the grand scheme of everything there is, I don't know much.
But I CAN fill a book with the things that I know.
And goddamit I plan to.
Because I want you all to know that I have been alive
And I have been in love.
And I've seen things that are wonderful to tell.
But then I've seen things that make me want to cry
And I'll cry
Because I'm not afraid to cry anymore
And I don't wanna hide anymore.
So I won't.
By the time I am done
You'll know me....
No wait a second
Erase that from your memory
Maybe the better question is
Will I?
Will I ever be the person that envisioned I could be.
Is that person inside of me and will they ever be let out?
Did you know that speed of light is...
Me neither.
Because I could fill a book with the things that I don't know.
Hell, I could probably make it an encyclopedia.
Because I haven't gone
From Rome to whatever I would be if I went around the world and ended right next to Rome.
See, because I have NO idea what city is next to Rome.
So surely I can't say I've lived, but I can say that I have LIVED.
Because I've done plenty of things, and I've been beat against walls
And I've been thrown across the room, and I've felt the kiss of a lover.
And I've been down, and I've been happy.
And there's no way, I'd ever give it back.
In the grand scheme of everything there is, I don't know much.
But I CAN fill a book with the things that I know.
And goddamit I plan to.
Because I want you all to know that I have been alive
And I have been in love.
And I've seen things that are wonderful to tell.
But then I've seen things that make me want to cry
And I'll cry
Because I'm not afraid to cry anymore
And I don't wanna hide anymore.
So I won't.
By the time I am done
You'll know me....
The Sun Turns Grey & The Rise of Starting Anew
2010.
Another year for things to be perfect.
Until the carcasses awake and run their fingers down your spine
And leave a chill deep in your bones that even death could not subside.
Because when you expect too much you get nothing,
And I've done this all before
Makin wishes and getting no answers to the questions that I've wondered
Just how long I'm willing to be silence before my lungs explode from containing air
Another year for things to be perfect.
Until the carcasses awake and run their fingers down your spine
And leave a chill deep in your bones that even death could not subside.
Because when you expect too much you get nothing,
And I've done this all before
Makin wishes and getting no answers to the questions that I've wondered
Just how long I'm willing to be silence before my lungs explode from containing air
Songs to Sing to The Maurauder's Wife Vol. II
I.
And so we find ourselves here again.
Washed up on the shore and still searching for the land
A firm place to set our feet in before we collapse under the pressure of menaces
We'll look to the crooked legs, of bad dogs and joyful kids
Who run circles 'round the wishing well.
Throw in your pennies and sit a spell.
This is glory in a cage.
Lavished by the wind and the suns rays.
But still as beautiful as the day it began.
Throw in your pennies and wish again.
II.
Juliya, you are just a girl.
Eyes pointed skyward and your ear to the world.
Hearts-a-flutter will speak your name.
And sing their praises through your window pane.
They coming, calling you beautiful
Your eyes like pools of emeralds
The way you sway is a miracle.
But Juliya, you're just a girl
And they will call you their medicine.
The cure for broken hearts, and the temptress of many men.
Just don't forget where you once lived.
There's always a home for you here my friend.
III.
Passion is lost on those who will never seek the fire out before it dies.
They live reckless and pointless and sheltered lives.
They're all asleep while the world cries.
It will all flash black before their eyes.
What we wouldn't give to have the plight of the desert sands.
Surround by all your closest friends.
One step away from enternity
Not these miles between you and me.
IV.
Many men try to live in the sea.
Away from the world and it's chemistry
Away from sadness, anger and disease.
But you've got to reach dry land sometimes
Set your feet on solid ground
And rest your weary eyes
Because when you're so far away for so long
It's easy to be overtaken by everything going on.
The secrets of mariners remain in their minds
They do not reveal them when they die.
Adult/Child
I think you'll find that I have shared more of my life with a piece of paper than a human being
You can only dig so deep before I inevitably shut you down.
Because I don't consider that my life, my life is what I have now.
Before this, it was all an illusion, just a dream
I like to think that when I was a being beaten, it was all just a dream
That these mental scars that are etched into my mind are just that of my own imagination.
Because I couldn't live with myself if I thought otherwise
Because it's so hard to forgive when you've been hurt so much
So it helps to just forget.
I think you'll find that I have shared more of my life with a piece of paper than a human being.
And to tell you truth I want nothing more than to throw these pieces of paper from the highest rooftop
So you all can hear me scream.
I think you'll find that my life...
Only started about 3 years ago...
So I'm a 3 year old.
I'm still learning
I'm still growing
Like a newborn baby with a stunning vocabulary
Like I birthed myself when I walked out that goddamn door.
18 years all a blur
18 years of pain
18 years of suffering unjustly, and literally going insane.
18 years of broken hearts, bruises and being alone.
It took me 18 years to find that where I was
Was no where that I would call home.
You can only dig so deep before I inevitably shut you down.
Because I don't consider that my life, my life is what I have now.
Before this, it was all an illusion, just a dream
I like to think that when I was a being beaten, it was all just a dream
That these mental scars that are etched into my mind are just that of my own imagination.
Because I couldn't live with myself if I thought otherwise
Because it's so hard to forgive when you've been hurt so much
So it helps to just forget.
I think you'll find that I have shared more of my life with a piece of paper than a human being.
And to tell you truth I want nothing more than to throw these pieces of paper from the highest rooftop
So you all can hear me scream.
I think you'll find that my life...
Only started about 3 years ago...
So I'm a 3 year old.
I'm still learning
I'm still growing
Like a newborn baby with a stunning vocabulary
Like I birthed myself when I walked out that goddamn door.
18 years all a blur
18 years of pain
18 years of suffering unjustly, and literally going insane.
18 years of broken hearts, bruises and being alone.
It took me 18 years to find that where I was
Was no where that I would call home.
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